Ferrari Mailing List: NFC: Rules for driving in Tulsa, OKlahoma

[Red5hilser (Red5hilser]

If any of you fellow Tifosi are visiting poor Tom, or just 'passing  thru,' 
these Tulsa Traffic Rules might come in handy.
 
Be careful, and remember, Ferrari Bubba warned you about these Okies  first!
 
Yer pal, Ferrari Bubba
 
 
  
____________________________________
 
Rules for Driving in Tulsa, Oklahoma
> 
> 
> If  your Tulsa map is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and buy a
>  new one. 
> 
> If you're in Broken Arrow where one street has  three names...such
> as Lynn Lane aka, 177th E. Ave and 9th St ......  and your map is one
day
> old, it is already obsolete.
>  
> Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Tulsa has its  own
> version of traffic rules.
> 
> All directions start  with 'Get on Memorial' which has no beginning and
> no end. Everything  in Tulsa is 'just off Memorial.'
> 
> The morning rush hour is  from 6 to 10. The evening rush hour is from 3
to 7.
> 
>  Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.
> 
> If you actually  stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, and
> possibly shot.  When you are the first one on the starting line, count
to five
>  when the light turns green before going to avoid crashing with all  the
> drivers running the red light in cross-traffic.
> 
>  Construction on I-44 is a way of life and a permanent form  of
entertainment.
> 
> All unexpected or strange sights are  explained by the phrase, 'Oh,
we're in Jenks.'
> 
> If  someone actually has a turn signal on, it is probably a  factory
defect.
> 
> All old ladies with blue hair in  Mercedes have the right of way.
PERIOD.
> 
> I-44 is called  the Skelly Bypass. No one has ever figured out what it
bypasses...  
> State Highway 51 is either the Broken Arrow Expressway or the  Keystone
Expressway, depending on which way you're headed. US64 comes up  Memorial
from Bixby, joins 169 
> for a few miles, and then heads  west with SH 51 towards Sand Springs. 
> 
> Several highways  like the Creek Turnpike have no number. We don't
understand it  either.
> 
> Maps of Tulsa show an Interstate 444 in downtown  Tulsa . If you find
it, let us know. The alleged I-444 is half of the  inner-dispersal loop,
which is not for the faint of heart.
>  
> Highway 169 in rush hour is the Tulsa equivalent of NASCAR. Just  shut
up and drive like the rest of us.
> 
> If asking  directions along North Utica or in west Tulsa , you must
have knowledge  of Spanish. If you're on East 21st Street , Mandarin
Chinese or  Vietnamese will be your best bet. If you stop to ask
directions on Pine  or Peoria , you better be armed.
> 
> The minimum acceptable  speed on the Broken Arrow Expressway is 85.
Anything less is considered  downright sissy.
> 
> If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be  next weekend. If it's 10
degrees and snowing, it's homecoming at TU. If  it's rained 6 inches in
the last hour, and it is spring, it's opening day  for the Drillers. If
it is fall, the Tulsa State Fair is going  on.
> 
> All amusement parks, stadiums, arenas, race tracks,  airports, etc.,
are conveniently located as far away from EVERYTHING as  possible so as
to allow for ample parking on grassy areas.
>  
> With these simple rules in mind, you are now ready to drive in  Tulsa .
> Please try and keep up.
> 

 
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