Ferrari Mailing List: Re: Barstool Economics (was RE: Are Ferraris Losing TheirGood Looks? )

(continued)

Overall I liked that story... Good stuff.

But they got it all wrong the 9th man froze to death?  It was the first 

4 that freeze to death....  Jeez I am the ninth man... I gotta move back 

to Texas where its warm...  Ooooh maybe one of Ric's God-Stadiums down 

there would help me out?  I bet they have extra big screen TV's every 

year when they upgrade...  Wonder if they give those out to someone in 

need of watching the Cowboys?

Grahame Reinthal wrote:

This is very long but quoe clever. I Googled David R Kamerschen and found
at...
http://www.viralgrapevine.com/how-tax-cuts-work-by-david-r-kamerschen-refute

d-the-real-way-tax-work-removing-the-internet-garbage/ 

...an intersting response the the beer story supposedly written by him. Here

it is...

Cheers,

Grahame 

_________________________________________________

In the US and throughout most of the rest of the world, the tenth man would
have paid off a politician for $10 to get a beer subsidy of $30 per night(to
create jobs for the bartender). Of this $30, $10 of course would have
covered the lobbying expense, $10 would go in his own pocket, $1 would go to

the bartender to keep his mouth shut, and $9 would go to the bar. 

The Bar would give him a kickback of $10 each night for bringing in his 9

buddies to make them into alcoholics, repeat customers for life. 

The Bar would then raise their prices to $130 citing inflation and higher

taxes. 

The tenth richest man would then secure his finances in a Dutch Holding
Company managed by a trust in Ireland which invests in Chase and Bank of
America. He would then explain to his buddies that he is as poor as the rest
of them and can't afford to pay himself as he cries into his beer that night
citing his latest financial report which shows him to be broke on paper so

that he doesn't have to pay taxes in the United States ever again. 

Citing his former generosity, the other nine men would agree that the tenth

man can now pay nothing like the 4 poorest. 

The others would then be faced with an adjusted amount of 

The fifth would pay $3. 

The sixth would pay $10. 

The seventh would pay $22. 

The eighth would pay $38. 

The ninth would pay $57. 

Now the group would recognize that this is not fair and so would lobby the

Government for an Earned Drinking Credit for the Poorest men. The government
would oblige and give the four poorest men $2 each, but they would tax the

5th - 9th men $2 each as well. 

4 men receive a total of $8 and 5 men pay $10. 

The adjusted amounts would then look like this for all 10 

First Receives $2 pays $2 | Net 0 

Second Receives $2 pays $2 | Net 0 

Third Receives $2 pays $2 | Net 0 

Fourth Receives $2 pays $2 | Net 0 

Fifth Pay $1 to bar pays $2 to tax | net paid $3 

Sixth Pay $8 to bar; pays $2 to tax | net paid $10 

Seventh Pay $20 to bar; pays $2 to tax | net paid $22 

Eighth Pay $36 to bar pays $2 to tax | net paid $38 

Ninth Pay $55 to bar; pays $2 to tax | net paid $57 

Tenth Man:  Tax Credit Received: $30 ;

Pays $10 to politician; 

$1 to bartender; 

Receives $10 from Bar 

Net RECEIVED $29 per night and free beer 

Of course this can not go on forever as the sixth, seventh, eighth and ninth

men can't afford to pay those rates forever. So they start paying with their

credit cards held by Bank of America and Chase. 

The tenth man would start demanding a higher Return on Investment from his
investment managers, who would be hearing similar requests from all of their
other investors. They would then expand their holdings into mortgaged back

securities where a good deal more profit could be made. 

Meanwhile the Fifth through ninth men are racking up debt on their credit
cards from drinking every night, their health care costs are increasing as
their liver fails, and they are also spending more on gasoline as they drink

and drive as they can no longer afford to cab it. 

Ultimately, they end up refinancing their credit cards into their house
where they have equity. The mortgage broker promises them a 4.9% interest
rate on the refinance which sounds good as their credit card interest rate
is up to 21%. The broker promises them that they will not have to verify

their income, provide W2's nor copies of their tax paper work. 

Their mortgage broker doesn't tell them, but lies about the value of their
house in order to refinance their credit and help them avoid paying private
mortgage insurance. At their current income levels, and without verifying
their income, their mortgage would be classified as Sub Prime and the

interest rate would be 10.9% 

 The mortgage officer lies about their income levels as well to boost the
internal credit scoring mechanism and get them financed, not at 4.9% but
5.9%, which is better than 10.9% and happens to pay the mortgage broker a

higher commission than a loan at 4.9% that is not sub prime. 

The mortgage broker also promises them a payment of $900 per month, but
fails to mention the balloon payment of $50,000 in the 5th year and doesn't

mention the adjustable rates in year 3. 

The men separately show up with a hangover and sun glasses on the date of
their close for their new mortgages. They trust their broker and do not read
the paperwork in detail flipping and signing almost as fast as they could

raise a beer bottle to their lips. 

The loan closes, the mortgage broker gets a fat commission, the bank
securitizes the mortgages by selling them to an Irish Hedge Fund and pockets

collectively a billion dollars in profits that year. 

The hedge fund holds the investment for a year, shows a 35% gain on paper
and starts selling shares to retirement funds and 401ks in the US that the
Sixth through 9th men just happen to have the rest of their life savings

sitting in. 

The tenth man sees the writing on the wall, literally magic marker on a

stall in the restroom of the bar. 

"The end is Nigh" 

He pulls his money out of the Irish Hedge fund invested in real estate and

invests in Gold at $600 a troy ounce. 

Meanwhile, he lobbies congress to tighten bankruptcy laws for credit cards
which he still has a sizable investment in. Congress tightens bankruptcy
laws and makes it impossible to absolve credit card debt, forcing people
into chapter 13 where they must pay off the debt within 3 years or go to

debtors prison where they can work it off in 7 years. 

Gas prices are still going up so the President ignores a minor terrorist
threat, allows the terrorists to blow up a major building and then goes to
war with the terrorists home country where there is no oil, and
simultaneously with a country that sits on 10% of the worlds oil reserves

that has a decimated military infrastructure. 

Oil prices shoot through the roof with Gold following close behind. The
President whose family comes from oil barons make a fortune and become

famous at their skull and bones country club outside of Yale. 

Meanwhile our famous 10 guys, start paying even more money at the pump. The
first 4 guys end up taking second jobs working at Wal-Mart and have to give
up drinking at the bar so that they can try and beat their teenage kids out

of a promotion. 

The fifth and sixth guys get foreclosed upon. They were forced to stop
paying their mortgage payments so that they could pay their mandatory credit

card payments as required by the new bankruptcy law. 

The seventh, eighth and ninth men all previously traded up their homes for
McMansions that they can not afford with interest only payments of $2300 a
month. When foreclosures start happening their plans on flipping their

McMansions and cashing in on the equity slips through their fingers. 

To make matters worse seven and eight get laid off from the companies they
work for when their jobs get outsourced to China. The ninth man keeps his
job at a law firm, but fails to notice that his 401k fund is slipping and
has lost 10% in the last year. Things are looking up as his law firm seems

on the edge of landing a big contract with Merrill Lynch. 

Then the real estate crash and sub prime mortgage scandal erupt. Banks start
dropping like flies to be saved not by the cash strapped government that can
barely afford the war for oil any longer, but by China. Oil and Gold soar,
Gold hits $900 a troy ounce and Oil hits $130 a barrel (about the same
amount for 10 rounds of beer prior to the crash). Beer prices hold steady
for the first few months, but then start to edge up as gas prices for

delivery creep into the bar owners expenses. 

Then the first four men one night remember their favorite bar. They sneak
around back around 4:30 am and steal 50 empty kegs that just happen to be
made of pure aluminum. Those kegs are now worth about half the value of a

keg that is full in scrap metal prices or about $80. 

They are not stupid and don't want to get caught turning the kegs in at the
dump where the police are already looking for keg thieves. So they head out
to the closed down manufacturing plant where they used to work. They start a
big fire, and melt down the aluminum into big messy aluminum splashes on the

cement. 

They turn in the aluminum for cash and get caught up on their back alimony
and child support before heading back to work at Wal-mart where they now
work for their teen age kids that beat them out for that promotion earlier
in the month because their job skills weren't as good as recent high school
graduates.  They then begin dreaming of new ways to find aluminum alimony

allowances. 

Meanwhile, the banks and mortgage companies lobby congress spending about
$10,000 a head in an election year to bail out the economy. Congress
provides the major banks with government backed loans to refinance the bad
sub prime loans so that the government can personally guarantee those bad
loans. They also put $100 billion of actual cash into the hands of Americans

hoping to stimulate the economy. 

Americans however, are all in debt up to their eye balls and use the extra
$1200 they receive to make 2-3 credit card payments. They take the $300 for
each kid and buy groceries for the month and then they start worrying about

next month. 

The banks get away free as they have Chinese financing now and no bad loans
as they have refinanced them over to the US Government. The US government
had to print more money to pay for all of these actions and so Gold goes up

to $1500 a troy ounce. 

The tenth man is now worth Billions and moves to Costa Rica to retire taking

the new trophy wife that used to be the bartenders girl friend with him. 

The first four men end up going to county prison for 3 months for stealing

aluminum dog crap receptacles after running out of kegs to steal. 

The fifth and sixth men end up living in an apartment and then homeless

after they lose their jobs at Wal-Mart. 

The seventh and eighth men whom we previously left hanging in our story
after they lost their jobs and ability to pay for their homes, end up losing
their homes, and their kids. They and their spouses are each convicted of
mortgage fraud by the FBI in a major sting operation after it is revealed
that they lied on their mortgage applications. Their mortgage brokers who
actually did the paper work cop a plea agreement in exchange for immunity

with the Feds and rat out each of their unsuspecting customers. 

The ninth man ends up losing his entire retirement fund which took a big hit
as the dollar rapidly plummeted into free fall. He ends up refinancing his
own house under a government backed loan for $650,000. Unfortunately, a
tornado comes through that winter in a freak coincidence and levels the
home. FEMA promises to provide assistance but never shows up and the ninth
man freezes to death attempting to salvage the shreds of his belongings. His
home insurance policy refuses to pay as they claim that his house was over
valued and then they prove it with comparables studies from his own mortgage

brokers database. 

The tenth man ends up dumping his new bride a year later, moving back to the
states a year after that when the US appears to have hit rock bottom and he
leads up a Chinese real estate investment initiative in the states. He makes
another $10 billion in ten years, but is then executed in Beijing for

espionage. 

Meanwhile, the bar tender goes on to win American Idol and sleep with Paula
Abdul. They are now blissfully happy, doped up on anti-psychotics, and the
biggest two idiots the world has ever seen.

EDIT - Note this article is not written to refute the article titled 'How
Tax Cuts Work' by David R Kamerschen. That is because David R Kamerschen
refutes having ever written the original! This is just an article to expand
on the concept of the original article written by an unknown viral writer.

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Re: Barstool Economics (was RE: Are Ferraris Losing TheirGood Looks? )	<– Date –> <– Thread –>
From: Mike Fleischer (themightytoegmail.com)
Date: Fri, 14 Nov 2008 19:19:41 -0800 (PST)