Ferrari Mailing List: New element discovered

[Paul Bennett (pbennett]

Admittedly stolen but worth the read

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Coming on the cusp of the presidential innauguration is the discovery of a new 
element:

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known 
to science. The new element, Governmentium(symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 
assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, 
giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by 
forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like 
particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, 
because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny 
amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would
normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but 
instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons 
and deputy neutrons exchange places In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually 
increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become 
neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that 
Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This 
hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an 
element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half 
as many peons but twice as many morons.