Ferrari Mailing List: Uncle Kenz Voting Guide 2008

[ken rentiers (rentiers]

Uncle Kenz Voting Guide 2008

By now this election probably has you pretty confused. Fear not! Use  
this handy guide to make your selection process simple and easy. You  
will be assured of picking the best man for the job...

Open your ballot to the first page:

Rule One: 	
	If only one candidate is a Lawyer vote for the other guy.
	If both candidates are Lawyers (the usual case) skip this section  
and go to Rule Two.
	If neither candidate is a Lawyer, do not vote for the incumbent!  
Forget Democrat v Republican, once elected you will get the same  
bull**** either way. Pick the guy that has never been to DC before so  
you have a chance of honest representation for at least six months  
before your boy is totally corrupted by lobbyists.

Rule Two:	
	If both candidates are Lawyers and there is a minority party choice  
available, pick him. (Do not vote for a female, this country is  
already suffering from  menopause) Suitable selections include  
Libertarian, Constitutionalist and Amalgamated Elves  of the North  
Pole. Avoid any party that has a color in the name like Green, Red or  
Black Panthers. Eschew choosing any candidate that belongs to an  
organization called 'Worker's', 'People's', 'Radical' or 'New'.
	If you still cannot find a suitable representative, and you simply  
will not tolerate any more of the same old same old, meet the author  
on the Washington Mall November 3rd. But first please visit  
Pitchforks 'R Us!.


k