Re: NFC BMW 740 | <– Date –> <– Thread –> |
From: Dan Spalding (dan_bob_spalding![]() |
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Date: Thu, 25 Jan 2007 17:41:49 -0800 (PST) |
Kudos for throwing in a meaningful Monty Python skit. Dan > -----Original Message----- > From: Brian E. Buxton [mailto:BrianBuxton [at] BuxtonMotorsports.com] > Sent: Thursday, 25 January, 2007 17:17 > To: Dan Spalding > Cc: ferrari [at] ferrarilist.com > Subject: Re: [Ferrari] NFC BMW 740 > > <<Dave Handa wrote: > Seems you have all your answers, so why ask us? Or are you looking for > someone to argue with? ;-)>> > > I'd like to buy an argument, please! > > ----------------------------------------- > > A man walks into an office. > > Man: Hello, I'd like to buy an argument, please. > Receptionist: Certainly, sir. Have you been here before? > Man: No, I haven't. > Receptionist: I see, Do you want to have a full argument or were you > thinking of taking a course? > Man: Well, what would be the cost? > Receptionist: Well, it costs 1P for a 5 minute argument or almost 8P for > a course of ten. > Man: Hmmm, Well I think it's probably best if I start with the one and > see how it goes from there, o.k.? > Receptionist: Fine, I'll see who's free at the moment. Mr. Debakey's > free, but he's a little bit concilliatory. Yes, well, try Mr. Barnard, > Room 12. > Man: Thank you. > > He enters room 12. > > Angry man: WHADDAYOU WANT? > Man: Well, I was told outside that... > Angry man: DON'T GIVE ME THAT, YOU SNOTTY-FACED HEAP OF PARROT DROPPINGS! > Man: What? > A: SHUT YOUR FESTERING GOB, YOU TIT! YOUR KIND REALLY MAKES ME PUKE! YOU > VACUOUS, STUFFY-NOSED, MALODOROUS PERVERT!!! > M: LOOK, I CAME HERE FOR AN ARGUMENT!! > A: OH! Oh! I'm sorry! This is abuse! > M: (smiling) Oh! Oh I see! Well, that explains it! > A: Oh no, you want room 12A, next door. > M: I see... Sorry... > A: Not at all! No, that's alright. > > M: (leaves room) > > A: (under his breath) Stupid git. > > The man goes into room 12A. Another man is sitting behind a desk. > > Man : (knocks) > > Other Man: Come in. > Man: Is this the where I come for an argument? > Other Man:(pause) I've told you once. > Man: No you haven't! > Other Man: Yes I have. > M: When? > O: Just now. > M: No, you didn't! > O: Yes I did! > M: Didn't! > O: Did! > M: Didn't! > O: I'm telling you, I did! > M: You did NOT! > O: Oh I'm sorry, is this a five minute or the full half hour? > M: (Confused) (Pauses) Oh, Just the five minute one. (Closes door and > sits down.) > O: Oh, a five. Thank you. > O: Anyway, I did. > M: You most certainly did not! > O: Now let's get one thing perfectly clear: I most definitely told you! > M: You did not. > O: Yes I did. > M: You did not. > O: Yes I did. > M: Didn't! > O: Yes I did! > M: Didn't! > O: Yes I did! > M: Look, this isn't an argument! > O: Yes it is. > M: No it isn't! It's just contradiction! > O: No it isn't! > M: Yes, it is! > O: It is NOT! > M: It IS! You just contradicted me! > O: No, I didn't! > M: Oh, you DID! > O: oh, no, no, nonono! > M: You did just then! > O: No, no, nonsense! > M: (exasperated) Oh, this is futile!! > O: No, it isn't! > M: I came here for a good argument! > O: No, you didn't. You came here for an argument! > M: Well, an argument is not the same thing as contradiction. > O: (Pauses) It CAN be! > M: No, it can't! An argument is a connecting series of statements to > establish a > proposition. > O: No, it isn't! > M: Yes it is! 'tisn't just contradiction. > O: Look, if I *argue* with you, I must take up a contrary position! > M: Yes but it isn't just saying "No it isn't". > O: Yes it is! > M: No it isn't! (Pauses and looks away, slightly confused) > M: (Continuing) Arguments are an intellectual process. Contradiction is > just an automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says. > O: (pause) No, it isn't. > M: Yes, it is! > O: Not at all! > M: Now look... > > The Other Man hits a bell on his desk and stops. > > O: Thank you. Good morning. > M: (stunned) What? > O: That's it. Good morning. > M: I was just getting interested! > O: Sorry, the five minutes is up. > M: That was never five minutes just now!! > O: 'fraid it was. > M: (leading on) No it wasn't..... > (Short Pause) > O: I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to argue any more. > M: What?? > O: If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay for another five > minutes. > M: But that was never five minutes just now! Oh Come on! This is > ridiculous! > O: I very sorry, but I told you I'm not allowed to argue unless you've > paid. > M: Oh, alright. (takes out his wallet and pays again.) There you are. > O: Thank you. > M: (clears throat) Well... > O: Well what? > M: That was never five minutes just now. > O: I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid! > M: I just paid! > O: No you didn't! > M: I DID!!! > O: No you didn't! > M: I DID!!! > O: No you didn't! > M: I DID!!! > O: I'm afraid you did not. > M: I don't want to argue about that! > O: Well, I'm very sorry but you didn't pay! > M: Ah hah! Well if I didn't pay, why are you arguing? Got you!! > O: No, you haven't! > M: Yes I have! (short pause) If you are arguing, I must have paid. > O: Not necessarily. (short pause) I *could* be arguing in my spare time. > M: I've had enough of this! > O: No, you haven't! (incentively) > M: Oh, Shut up! (Man leaves) > > > _________________________________________________________________ > To unsubscribe or modify your subscription options, please visit: > http://lists.ferrarilist.com/mailman/options/ferrari/dan_bob_spalding%40ms > n.com > > Sponsored by BidNip.com eBay Auction Sniper
- Re: NFC BMW 740, (continued)
- Re: NFC BMW 740 Ken Rentiers, January 25 2007
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Re: NFC BMW 740 LtWacko, January 25 2007
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Re: NFC BMW 740 Dave Handa, January 25 2007
- Re: NFC BMW 740 Brian E. Buxton, January 25 2007
- Re: NFC BMW 740 Dan Spalding, January 25 2007
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Re: NFC BMW 740 Dave Handa, January 25 2007
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Re: NFC BMW 740 ken rentiers, January 25 2007
- Message not available
- Re: NFC BMW 740 ken rentiers, January 26 2007
- Some Ferrari Content - and some BMW V8 content ;) Jim Conforti, January 26 2007
- Re: Some Ferrari Content - and some BMW V8 content ;) ken rentiers, January 26 2007
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