Re: NFC BMW 740
From: Dan Spalding (dan_bob_spaldingmsn.com)
Date: Thu, 25 Jan 2007 17:41:49 -0800 (PST)
Kudos for throwing in a meaningful Monty Python skit.

Dan 


> -----Original Message-----
> From: Brian E. Buxton [mailto:BrianBuxton [at] BuxtonMotorsports.com]
> Sent: Thursday, 25 January, 2007 17:17
> To: Dan Spalding
> Cc: ferrari [at] ferrarilist.com
> Subject: Re: [Ferrari] NFC BMW 740
> 
> <<Dave Handa wrote:
> Seems you have all your answers, so why ask us? Or are you looking for
> someone to argue with? ;-)>>
> 
> I'd like to buy an argument, please!
> 
> -----------------------------------------
> 
> A man walks into an office.
> 
> Man: Hello, I'd like to buy an argument, please.
> Receptionist: Certainly, sir. Have you been here before?
> Man: No, I haven't.
> Receptionist: I see, Do you want to have a full argument or were you
> thinking of taking a course?
> Man: Well, what would be the cost?
> Receptionist: Well, it costs 1P for a 5 minute argument or almost 8P for
> a course of ten.
> Man: Hmmm, Well I think it's probably best if I start with the one and
> see how it goes from there, o.k.?
> Receptionist: Fine, I'll see who's free at the moment. Mr. Debakey's
> free, but he's a little bit concilliatory. Yes, well, try Mr. Barnard,
> Room 12.
> Man: Thank you.
> 
> He enters room 12.
> 
> Angry man: WHADDAYOU WANT?
> Man: Well, I was told outside that...
> Angry man: DON'T GIVE ME THAT, YOU SNOTTY-FACED HEAP OF PARROT DROPPINGS!
> Man: What?
> A: SHUT YOUR FESTERING GOB, YOU TIT! YOUR KIND REALLY MAKES ME PUKE! YOU
> VACUOUS, STUFFY-NOSED, MALODOROUS PERVERT!!!
> M: LOOK, I CAME HERE FOR AN ARGUMENT!!
> A: OH! Oh! I'm sorry! This is abuse!
> M: (smiling) Oh! Oh I see! Well, that explains it!
> A: Oh no, you want room 12A, next door.
> M: I see... Sorry...
> A: Not at all! No, that's alright.
> 
> M: (leaves room)
> 
> A: (under his breath) Stupid git.
> 
> The man goes into room 12A. Another man is sitting behind a desk.
> 
> Man : (knocks)
> 
> Other Man: Come in.
> Man: Is this the where I come for an argument?
> Other Man:(pause) I've told you once.
> Man: No you haven't!
> Other Man: Yes I have.
> M: When?
> O: Just now.
> M: No, you didn't!
> O: Yes I did!
> M: Didn't!
> O: Did!
> M: Didn't!
> O: I'm telling you, I did!
> M: You did NOT!
> O: Oh I'm sorry, is this a five minute or the full half hour?
> M: (Confused) (Pauses) Oh, Just the five minute one. (Closes door and
> sits down.)
> O: Oh, a five. Thank you.
> O: Anyway, I did.
> M: You most certainly did not!
> O: Now let's get one thing perfectly clear: I most definitely told you!
> M: You did not.
> O: Yes I did.
> M: You did not.
> O: Yes I did.
> M: Didn't!
> O: Yes I did!
> M: Didn't!
> O: Yes I did!
> M: Look, this isn't an argument!
> O: Yes it is.
> M: No it isn't! It's just contradiction!
> O: No it isn't!
> M: Yes, it is!
> O: It is NOT!
> M: It IS! You just contradicted me!
> O: No, I didn't!
> M: Oh, you DID!
> O: oh, no, no, nonono!
> M: You did just then!
> O: No, no, nonsense!
> M: (exasperated) Oh, this is futile!!
> O: No, it isn't!
> M: I came here for a good argument!
> O: No, you didn't. You came here for an argument!
> M: Well, an argument is not the same thing as contradiction.
> O: (Pauses) It CAN be!
> M: No, it can't! An argument is a connecting series of statements to
> establish a
> proposition.
> O: No, it isn't!
> M: Yes it is! 'tisn't just contradiction.
> O: Look, if I *argue* with you, I must take up a contrary position!
> M: Yes but it isn't just saying "No it isn't".
> O: Yes it is!
> M: No it isn't! (Pauses and looks away, slightly confused)
> M: (Continuing) Arguments are an intellectual process. Contradiction is
> just an automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says.
> O: (pause) No, it isn't.
> M: Yes, it is!
> O: Not at all!
> M: Now look...
> 
> The Other Man hits a bell on his desk and stops.
> 
> O: Thank you. Good morning.
> M: (stunned) What?
> O: That's it. Good morning.
> M: I was just getting interested!
> O: Sorry, the five minutes is up.
> M: That was never five minutes just now!!
> O: 'fraid it was.
> M: (leading on) No it wasn't.....
> (Short Pause)
> O: I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to argue any more.
> M: What??
> O: If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay for another five
> minutes.
> M: But that was never five minutes just now! Oh Come on! This is
> ridiculous!
> O: I very sorry, but I told you I'm not allowed to argue unless you've
> paid.
> M: Oh, alright. (takes out his wallet and pays again.) There you are.
> O: Thank you.
> M: (clears throat) Well...
> O: Well what?
> M: That was never five minutes just now.
> O: I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid!
> M: I just paid!
> O: No you didn't!
> M: I DID!!!
> O: No you didn't!
> M: I DID!!!
> O: No you didn't!
> M: I DID!!!
> O: I'm afraid you did not.
> M: I don't want to argue about that!
> O: Well, I'm very sorry but you didn't pay!
> M: Ah hah! Well if I didn't pay, why are you arguing? Got you!!
> O: No, you haven't!
> M: Yes I have! (short pause) If you are arguing, I must have paid.
> O: Not necessarily. (short pause) I *could* be arguing in my spare time.
> M: I've had enough of this!
> O: No, you haven't! (incentively)
> M: Oh, Shut up! (Man leaves)
> 
> 
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